Sunday, January 27, 2008

what does "moby" mean to you?

Perhaps a large white whale

Perhaps an iconoclastic techno musician? 

Perhaps a swatch of soft cotton 1 foot wide by 78 feet long used to tie babies to their parents and requiring extensive training in Origami for proper use? 

In our family, "moby" means the latter, as in "The Moby Wrap." Observe...

There are many advantages and uses of the Moby Wrap. An extensive, though not exhaustive list, is included below for your education and edification.

1. Mobility - Nora is secured to mama, allowing mama a wide range of motion, and keeping Nora out of trouble.
2. Safety - There is enough fabric to secure Nora to mama, as well as to secure dad to mama, reducing mama's range of motion, but keeping Nora and dad out of trouble.
3. Warmth - The Moby Wrap successfully traps the body heat of both mama and Nora. 98.6 degrees multiplied by two people equals heat that Ernest Shackleton and co. wished they had had stranded on an ice floe in Antartica.
4.  Action - Mama can play lacrosse & dodgeball, ride public transportation, navigate the produce section at the Berkeley Bowl, and throw dozens of pottery coffee mugs on a kick wheel without ever holding Nora in her arms.
5. Accessibility - If mama had married a man with no arms, he could have worn the Moby Wrap. Fortunately, dad has arms.
6. Caffeine - (Note: this has been field-tested) Mama can order a cup of coffee, carry the non-recyclable paper cup to the condiments stand, remove the plastic lid, insert the cup into a cardboard sleeve so as to reduce the surface temperature of the non-recyclable paper cup, tear open sugar packets, dump contents of sugar packets into said hot, non-recyclable paper cup of coffee, pour half and half from a stainless steel carafe, stir caffeinated beverage with wooden stirrer thingy, finally replacing plastic lid onto non-recyclable paper cup and strolling out onto the city sidewalk. 
7. Dancing - (Note: this has not yet been field-tested, but dad is confident in mama's ability to simultaneously wear the Moby and pull off "the sprinkler," "holster pistol," "churn the butter," and a sundry of other dance moves. A trial run is scheduled for February 16th at Joseph Decosimo's wedding reception.)
8. Ploughing - As in, the back 40 with our team of mules.
9. Walking - As in into the office to check on what dad is writing in the blog.
10. Flying - Back east on a big ole jet airliner to visit family in a few weeks!

3 comments:

ceh said...

hooray for the moby makin it on the big ole jet headed east! i'm anxious to hear about the dancing trial run at the reception...make sure joseph's not the one wearing the moby, or at least that nora's not in it.
love you guys! thanks for the blog, bert! it's really fun to read.

Connie

ps-Laura, Nora looks so much like you in the pic where she is looking over your shoulder--beautiful!

aidansmom0313 said...

LOL! You guys have a very interesting blog! I love the description of the uses of the Moby. I might have to get one when we have baby #2, which hopefully will be soon! Love you guys and I can't wait to meet Nora.

Magen

aidansmom0313 said...

LOL! You guys have a very interesting blog! I love the description of the uses of the Moby. I might have to get one when we have baby #2, which hopefully will be soon! Love you guys and I can't wait to meet Nora.

Magen