late night conversation...

...as i was crawling into bed:

Laura: Hey, just to warn you, I saw some ants in the bathroom.

Robert: Oh really? Are there a bunch of them?

Laura: No, there are 10.

Robert: Oh, did you kill them?

Laura: No, I counted them.

***

Author's Note: All characters, names, events, and views included in this entry are entirely fictitious and do not represent, symbolize, or otherwise resemble anything that happened in real life.

stuf peepl maid 4 me, by nora

thanks ant connie 4 my neet-o burp cloths. i burp on them all the thyme.

luv,

nora

what does "moby" mean to you?

Perhaps a large white whale? 

Perhaps an iconoclastic techno musician? 

Perhaps a swatch of soft cotton 1 foot wide by 78 feet long used to tie babies to their parents and requiring extensive training in Origami for proper use? 

In our family, "moby" means the latter, as in "The Moby Wrap." Observe...

There are many advantages and uses of the Moby Wrap. An extensive, though not exhaustive list, is included below for your education and edification.

1. Mobility - Nora is secured to mama, allowing mama a wide range of motion, and keeping Nora out of trouble.

2. Safety - There is enough fabric to secure Nora to mama, as well as to secure dad to mama, reducing mama's range of motion, but keeping Nora and dad out of trouble.

3. Warmth - The Moby Wrap successfully traps the body heat of both mama and Nora. 98.6 degrees multiplied by two people equals heat that Ernest Shackleton and co. wished they had had stranded on an ice floe in Antartica.

4.  Action - Mama can play lacrosse & dodgeball, ride public transportation, navigate the produce section at the Berkeley Bowl, and throw dozens of pottery coffee mugs on a kick wheel without ever holding Nora in her arms.

5. Accessibility - If mama had married a man with no arms, he could have worn the Moby Wrap. Fortunately, dad has arms.

6. Caffeine - (Note: this has been field-tested) Mama can order a cup of coffee, carry the non-recyclable paper cup to the condiments stand, remove the plastic lid, insert the cup into a cardboard sleeve so as to reduce the surface temperature of the non-recyclable paper cup, tear open sugar packets, dump contents of sugar packets into said hot, non-recyclable paper cup of coffee, pour half and half from a stainless steel carafe, stir caffeinated beverage with wooden stirrer thingy, finally replacing plastic lid onto non-recyclable paper cup and strolling out onto the city sidewalk. 

7. Dancing - (Note: this has not yet been field-tested, but dad is confident in mama's ability to simultaneously wear the Moby and pull off "the sprinkler," "holster pistol," "churn the butter," and a sundry of other dance moves. A trial run is scheduled for February 16th at Joseph Decosimo's wedding reception.)

8. Ploughing - As in, the back 40 with our team of mules.

9. Walking - As in into the office to check on what dad is writing in the blog.

10. Flying - Back east on a big ole jet airliner to visit family in a few weeks!

letter to nora - part 2

      When I rolled in, soaking wet, to work, I heard the same greetings I'd been hearing every morning since Christmas Day, your due date.

Ray: "Hey dad!"

Me: "Nope, not yet."

Flavio: "Robert, what the heck are you doing here? No baby yet?"

Me: "Sorry, can't help it."

The boss, gregarious as always: "HEY ROBERT!  No news, eh?"

Me: "Actually, things might have gotten started at home this morning, so if my wife gives me a call, I'm going to need to head home."

The boss: "Really!? I mean, that's GREAT! Sure, no problem! I mean, you'll need to get home right away!" From all appearances, you'd have thought he was kin. To his credit, his enthusiasm was sincere, and he also allowed me to take four and a half weeks off after your arrival - a good man, doubtless.

       I hopped into a truck with Juan, and we drove out to check storm drains for clogs first thing that morning. Preoccupied as I was with how mama was doing, if you were really coming, was I really going to be a father?, I put on my rain coat and rain paints but neglected my knee-high rubber rain boots, a mistake which caused me quite a bit of discomfort a couple of hours later while I was standing in chilly rainwater half way up my shins furiously raking magnolia leaves off of a grate. 

      For me, on any other day, wet feet and clogged drains would have guaranteed a grumpy disposition until I fell asleep in the evening. But a coming child brings on a certain oblivious joy, a giddiness, that seems to change the way the world feels. The obvious comparison to falling in love comes to mind, but I suspect there's a generous helping of that feeling that David got when he tore off all his clothes and danced with all his might out in the street in God's presence...

human powered horticulture

     When I emailed a picture like this one to my elder brother Jamie, he wrote back and said, "Nice training wheels." I'll show you training wheels, big brother...

     I am now the proud owner of a Bikes At Work bicycle trailer, as you can see above. I take care of a couple local gardens as a side business, and this being Berkeley and all, I decided to run my operation in as "green" a fashion as possible - petroleum free. That leaves me with electricity and my own arms and legs, so, I saved my pennies and bought this 64AW, the extra wide model, fashioned completely out of aluminum, measuring around 8 feet long from hitch to rear reflectors, and weighing about 45 lbs.

     It's maiden voyage was Wednesday, where I rode high up into the Rockridge neighborhood lugging all my tools through backroads, either for safety reasons, or to avoid the unavoidable stares that seem to ask, "Is that a UFO?" After all, E.T. did get around on a bike.

 

letter to nora - part 1

Dear Nora,

      Your mama is a courageous person, but by the time you are able to read this, you will already be well aware of the fact. I thought it important to put the story of your birth into writing because over the last twenty days of your life, your mama's courage has been something worth marveling over - something worth remembering - and I thought you might someday want to know all that happened on the day you arrived in this strange and beautiful world.

      My alarm was set for 5 am on Friday morning, my normal waking hour for a normal work day. I don't have to be at work, a measly 10 minute bike ride away, until 6:30, but the quiet at that hour, if I can slough myself out of bed, is really one of God's many good gifts.

      Mama was already awake:

      "Hey, I've been feeling contractions all night long."

      "Really?" I smiled, then sat up in bed quickly as I tried to make sense in my half-sleep stupor of why she had been so courteous as to wait for my alarm clock to share this somewhat important news with me.

      "Yeah, they've been coming on and off for a while now. I can't decide if they're the real thing or not." (This playing down of what the old-timers refer to as "the pains" was sort of the hallmark of 80% of mom's laboring to birth you.

      Needless to say, I was excited, but lest we get our hopes up and this train of pain come to a mysterious halt, as labor tends to do, (or so they tell me), I went ahead and put my carhartts and long underwear on, made a cup of coffee, and filled up my thermos with green tea (a macho combination if ever I've heard of one) to head out for a day of gardening.

      Mom and I, being the decisive types, debated about whether or not I should "call out sick," finally settling that I should head on out, knowing that I could get home pretty quickly if the proverbial weather began to change. So I wrapped myself up in polarfleece, clicked on my headlamp, and pedaled out into the rainiest day I can remember since we moved to Berkeley...

Nora Faith Heiskell

We joyfully announce the birth of our first daughter, Nora Faith Heiskell. This munchkin was born on January 5, 2008 at 1:05 am, weighing in at 8 lbs. 14 oz. and standing 22 inches tall in the world.